Why You Have to Love Yourself First

I have to admit that I’ve heard the saying “You have to love yourself before you love anyone else” or something along those lines over and over again. Agreeing to it, but never actually understanding why. I’ve just always thought that you should come first to yourself. I’m not saying that you should stop putting others before you. Just make sure you don’t beat yourself over anything you do for others.

Anyway, I’ve found the reason why. One that satisfies me, at least. For you who have found it, I suggest to just watch the video if you’d like to, then skip this whole post.

Something just hit me after watching the video. (My wardrobe side, actually. My bed’s adjacent to the wardrobe, and when I finished watching it in an upright position I wanted to rest my head and hit a piece of wood instead. But that’s really out of the topic.)

I’ve always thought it’s because people don’t love themselves enough. Or because while we can be so selfish, we also have insecurities. But that one line that said every love before ourselves is a lie is like a slap of reality to me. And I find that’s true. For one reason.

Ingenuity. Out of envy.

How do you expect to purely just celebrate someone’s success without wishing that it was you out there in the spotlight if you’re not happy of what you’ve accomplished? There’s nothing wrong with always having a higher target, but it shouldn’t keep you from enjoying “the now”. And without it, you’ll wish you could just drag whoever it is away and stand in his/her place.

Do you really think you could complement someone, whether man or woman, on how they look, if you constantly wish you had their body parts?

“I wish I had her hair.”

“The world is so unfair! Why does he have lovely lashes and not me?”

“Her waistline… I definitely have to go on a diet.”

“Those cheekbones. And that jawline. So perfect! I hope I could get a guy like that.”

Now, be honest. For those of you who really envy another’s looks, have you ever secretly wished that they’d just be less… perfect? That one day they’d wake up, skin blemished, hair in a mess, face covered in zits, body fat, arms and legs hideous so that for once, they could feel what it’s like to be you? Do you even have all those things mentioned above? If you truly love yourself, you could, and still find beauty in everyone without holding back something inside. Something like, “I’d love to be born with hazel eyes. But mine’s fine too. Oh well.”

How do you expect to be happy for others, let alone love them, if you don’t even know what either feels like? Even if you say you’ve only known love when you found your first couple, don’t you feel so in tune with yourself with him/her? Doesn’t being with that person make you love you?

If it doesn’t; first of all, what kind of relationship are you in? Second, how do you know you love others? That you don’t see them as a reflection of something you wish were you? That you don’t love them for them, but you “love” them because you like what you see and would like to keep them around as a target you need to reach?

It’s envy.

And this jumble of words may not make sense. I’m not a writer. I’m not a poetess. But I do hope that you get the point somehow from what’s here.

And learn to love yourself first.


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